Aside from personal experience, Human Options (domestic violence organization and shelter in Orange County, California) was my first exposure to domestic violence in a professional capacity. The woman who made this agency possible is CEO and Founder, Vivian Clecak. After 34 years, Ms. Clecak is retiring.

The following is a special farewell message from Vivian Clecak herself, pulled from the Human Options website (http://humanoptions.org):

“Last week I visited the resident council for our Second Step transitional housing program. As I listened to the stories of our clients, I was touched by their words –

“Human Options saved my life. I do not know if I would have lived through the next beating.”
“Thanks to Human Options, I can be the mother I always wanted to be. My son was always telling me, ‘Mama, I don’t want to be sad.’ Now we both smile.”
“I never knew there was a place like this. I thought shelters were scary places full of metal cots. My husband told me no one would help me. Now I am ready to raise my kids in a safe home and start a new job.”
“I could not believe there were strangers who cared about families like us and wanted to help.”

Again and again we hear the stories of lives changed and saved. As I prepare for my retirement on January 31 after 34 years, I am filled with appreciation for the incredible opportunity to help break the cycle of domestic violence. I have been blessed with right work – work which makes a difference, work which fits my talents, work which creates community, work I love. When four of us – Carolyn Churm, Margaret Thoreau, Anne Wright, and I – visualized Human Options, we had no idea how great our impact could be. We started with a dream, a world where no woman or child would ever have to be afraid in her or his own home. We began our program on October 18, 1981 when we opened the hotline. Our first office was the trunk of my car. One year later, October 18, 1982, we had raised enough money to open a five bedroom shelter and move my office to the basement of a Laguna Beach church. Over the years we have grown by listening to our clients and by learning from formal research. The research, four independent studies by university faculty over 34 years, showed that our programs worked – 92 percent of shelter and Second Step graduates are violence free one year or more after graduation. We grew to meet the needs of our clients at every stage of the problem – from hotline and emergency shelter to transitional housing, community counseling centers, legal advocacy, special programs for children to help them recover from trauma of family violence, and community education/prevention programs to help create a new culture free of domestic violence. Last year alone we served 5,936 clients in our programs and educated 6,841 high school students, health care professionals, human resource professionals and parents. I thank all of you – our wonderful staff, members of our dedicated board of directors, volunteers, generous donors, and community partners – who have created this powerful community of caring and commitments. Together we make the difference! I will continue to support Human Options in any way I can and begin each day with gratitude for the gift of serving our community.”

Thank you Vivian for your service, and thank you for allowing me the opportunity to develop my skills and gain inspiration from so many survivors at Human Options!

After more than 50 women came forward accusing Bill Cosby of sexual assault ranging from unwanted kissing, to fondling, to rape—he was finally charged. Unfortunately, for the majority of accusations, the statute of limitations had run out, and the women will not get an opportunity to get the justice they deserve.

Survivor, Andrea Constand was able to see him arrested – but only for a moment, and then the 10% of the $1 million dollar bail was posted.

To review, in 2005, the police interviewed Ms. Constand and her abuser after she reported him following multiple sexual assaults. Unfortunately—and as with many rape cases—the district attorney stated there was not enough evidence to charge him with a crime. However, the case was reopened in 2015 following evidence discovered in Cosby’s unsealed court deposition, and then he was charged.

Ms. Constand’s abuser used some of the same tactics he has used for his sexual advances on other women who have rejected him (meaning by unwillingly drugging them). However in his defense, he was able to “read nonverbal indicators of consent” and bragged of his own sexual ability to pick up much younger women. During his “pursuit” of Ms. Constand, the abuser promoted his role of being a mentor for her, and someone who could guide her career. When that did not work, he resorted to drugging her.

Ms. Constand stated she went to her abuser’s house with the intention of discussing her future career plans. Her abuser told her he “wanted her to relax” and gave her what he claimed were “herbal” pills, while also insisting she drink a glass of wine. Ms. Constand shared that she then experienced blurred vision and trouble speaking, feelings of losing all the strength in her legs, and nausea. However, despite this impairment, she was fully aware that her abuser was fondling her breasts, putting his hands in her pants, penetrating her vagina with his fingers, and forcing her hand onto his penis. Following the assault, Ms. Constand awoke around 4am, with her clothes halfway off, and then left.

Shortly after this event, Ms. Constand had begun to demonstrate post traumatic stress disorder symptoms, including nightmares, screaming, and isolating behaviors. She eventually disclosed the assaults to her mother, who then contacted the police. Her abuser attempted to cover everything up by funding Ms. Constand’s therapy, graduate school tuition, and other expenses, while deflecting all accusations and questions regarding the assault.

Although many will defend Cosby, and claim it’s a “coincidence” that so many women have come forward, we must not blame race, politics, or the fact he was “America’s favorite dad.” We need to start separating our idea of who Bill Cosby is from his T.V. character, and start blaming him for his disgusting and inexcusable actions.

**Moreover, a victim is unable to give consent when under the influence of any substance. So, regardless of the fact that she was drugged and “not struggling” and “not saying no,” that still does not imply consent.

To read the detailed description of Andrea Constand’s allegations against her abuser click here: http://www.scribd.com/doc/294315078/Criminal-Complaint-William-Cosby

Domestic violence is a very serious and very common crime committed by male athletes, and the male athletes that commit this crime have the privilege of fame and fortune, which allows this issue to be swept under the rug.

The MLB has finally worked with domestic violence organizations to create a policy that encompasses domestic violence, sexual assault, and child abuse—and includes a process for training, disciplining, and providing services for both athletes and victims.

However, the issue is not creating a policy, the issue is enforcing it. As we have seen over the last couple years, domestic violence is a recurring problem in the NFL, as illustrated through cases such as Ray Rice, Greg Hardy, and Ray McDonald. Additional light was shed on domestic violence in the MLB when Colorado Rockies player Jose Reyes was arrested this past October after assaulting his wife, Katherine. He was then released immediately on bail.

Over and over we hear the quote “we take domestic violence very seriously,” however, this statement is not demonstrated in practice. Returning to Ray Rice’s case earlier last year, is a 2 game suspension really “taking domestic violence very seriously”? What is even more disturbing is that many did not believe the victim (Janay Rice) until they saw with their own eyes her being dragged unconsciously by her hair out of the elevator.

It is important that organizations that have the ability to change culture and serve as role models for the greater population address issues such as domestic violence with great care and concern, and work towards ending it.

To see a brief summary of what the policy consists of, click on the following link: http://m.mlb.com/news/article/144508842/mlb-mlbpa-agree-on-domestic-violence-policy

Politicians and those in power clearly have never walked into a Planned Parenthood. These individuals do not understand how important Planned Parenthood is to women (AND MEN) across the United States.

To provide you with accurate services provided to Planned Parenthood clients, the following information was pulled directly from www.plannedparenthood.org:

“- Planned Parenthood health centers focus on prevention: 80% of our clients receive services to prevent unintended pregnancy
– Planned Parenthood services help prevent approximately 516,000 unintended pregnancies each year
– Planned Parenthood provides nearly 400,000 Pap tests and nearly 500,000 breast exams each year, critical services in detecting cancer
– Planned Parenthood provides nearly 4.5 million tests and treatments for sexually transmitted infections, including 700,000 HIV tests
– Three percent of all Planned Parenthood health services are abortion services
– Planned Parenthood affiliates provide educational programs and outreach to 1.5 million people and adults each year
– Planned Parenthood has eight million activists, supporters, and donors working for women’s health and safety and our fundamental reproductive rights”

Last week, gunman Robert Lewis Dear shot three people and injured nine others at a Planned Parenthood center in Colorado Springs. The exact motive from the shooter for attacking the center has not been disclosed—however, it was primarily fueled by his misunderstanding and false accusations of abortion services Planned Parenthood provides, and the highly edited videos released by anti-abortion extremists (that have already been debunked months ago).

Such senseless acts of violence at these health care clinics serves to frighten and prevent men and women from accessing much-needed health care services. Despite this, Planned Parenthood’s across the country will remain open and available. It is important to not back down from fighting against policies and legislation intended to limit reproductive rights in the United States.

Rest in peace to the individuals who were killed tragically – Jennifer Markovsky, Officer Garrett Swasey, and Ke’Arre Stewart.

If you Stand with Planned Parenthood against senseless violence and anti-abortion rhetoric, SIGN ON http://ppact.io/Stay-Open

It is hard to imagine a child at the age of eight getting married in the United States, let alone give birth at ages as young as 12 or 13. However, for countries such as those in Africa, this proves to be the norm. And, it is wrong. To put into perspective, in the United States, we consider any sex trafficked victim under the age of 18 unable to “consent,” or choose to be involved; so similarly, how could an 8-year-old consent to a marriage?

UN Women—an organization dedicated to gender equality and the empowerment of women—has participated and actively contributed to the First African Girls’ Summit on Ending Child Marriage this week from November 24-27th. It sought to mobilize African traditional and political leaders to work towards ending and preventing child marriage. It also advocated towards setting and enforcing laws requiring the minimum age of marriage to be 18, and to punish perpetrators in violation. Additionally, it sought assistance from major stakeholders, donors, and the media in contributing towards prevention efforts.

The host country, Zambia, has worked towards promoting this cause in addition to improving and creating policies to fight the continuous issue of violence against women and girls—which includes child marriage and human trafficking.

Moreover, in Africa, education for women is rare. Education is needed in order to help provide women with economic independence, the ability to support themselves, and the knowledge about how to speak for themselves, among other benefits needed to help decrease such issues.

Please take a moment to click and watch the following YouTube link of the girls affected by this gender-based violence, and those who are speaking out against the issue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nthGlZe-vyo

Tune in to CNN this coming Sunday, November 22 at 8pm EST/5pm PST for a screening of The Hunting Ground.

This film exposes rape culture and the mishandling of sexual assault on college and university campuses. It follows sexual assault survivors pursuing their education while attempting to seek justice, despite disbelief by their peers, professors, and administrators, and ongoing harassment by their perpetrators.

Since its premiere a year ago, it has been screened at hundreds of college campuses across the country, as well as the White House. It has inspired much-needed policy changes.

To learn more about the current efforts spearheaded by the survivors in this film, follow “End Rape on Campus” on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/endrapeoncampus

If you, or anyone you know is in need of further information and resources, please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE.